you be nice to your sister!
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you be nice to your sister! |
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[Here is another lesson, this one about Service -- meeting your sisters' practical needs. Service is so much more than opening doors and carrying heavy things!
In order to be a good servant, you have to pay your sister a lot of attention and consider her more important than yourself. It's good to be a sneaky servant
(in the sense of not doing your good works to be praised by men), but you need to be considerate in the process. This chapter is about that.]
The Art and Science of Finishing Last, Sample Lesson SERVE -- LESSON 3. SNEAK GOOD This is not just about service, but I will mention it here. When I recommend sneaking, I do not mean it creepy-like. If your sister ends up thinking, "I don't know who this invisible helper is, but it's freaking me out!" then you have missed a few steps along the way, and probably caused a lot more anxiety than you have relieved. The easiest thing to do is think about what would happen if she caught you. If she would probably say "Aww, thank you!" then you are okay. If she would probably say "Err...what do you...think you are doing?" then you are being creepy. You should be honest, upright, and encouraging in your sneakiness, and not trespass against her property or privacy or personality (I did not choose those words for alliteration, but you will never believe that). So these would be bad: Showing up at a girl's dorm/apartment/abode while she is away, and asking her roommate to let you clean. Attempting to wash or fold her laundry in secret is also a bad idea. This is not respecting her privacy. Also, moving heavy, valuable breakable things -- or doing any sort of tricky, fiddly operation without asking her permission. Even installing anti-virus software on the sly. This is not respecting her property. Finally, you do not want to do things that disrespect her personality. Don't secretly help her in ways that just make her uncomfortable or upset. I say don't *secretly* do it. Sometimes you will have to oppose a girl's personality -- but you need to do that kind of thing *openly*. It is respectful to encourage a shy girl to speak up; it is possibly wrong to pull strings so she's unexpectedly in the spotlight. It is respectful to encourage a headstrong girl to let people help her; it is possibly wrong to go behind her back and "help her anyway" if she insists on working alone. Basically, sneaky things should be "I know she'll appreciate it" things. "I know you hate it but it's for your own good" things should be done (or suggested) out in the open. And this would be good: Your friend invites everyone over for pizza and games at her house. When dinner is over, you all go into the living room to play games. Passing through the kitchen on the way to the bathroom, you notice pizza boxes, paper plates, napkins and cups scattered everywhere. You are familiar with the house so you take a few minutes to toss the disposables, rinse out the cups and put them in the dishwasher. You also straighten up the chairs and wipe off the table, so everything is back in its proper order. Then you go back to playing games, and everyone thinks you just took a long time in the bathroom. They might not even realize there was a mess in the first place. Brilliant! (But...some girls are really concerned about being a good hostess, and they would feel awful knowing that they "made someone else clean up", even if you are happy to do it. Service should not make a person feel awful, so respect her personality! If you want to clean, tell her that it would make you blissfully happy to do so, and ask if it is alright). Now, a word about failure: If you ever get caught while trying to care for your sisters, it is entirely okay. Sometimes it is unavoidable, and you can respond (either during the act or after the fact) with a straightforward "Happy to help! Thanks for letting me." I will admit that sneaking is an overcompensation, a shield against the suspicion that you are trying to make yourself look good. It does not really matter if you go noticed or unnoticed. You sneak to show that you *prefer* to go unnoticed. And this is your preference because it emphasizes your sister's welfare over your own glory. And word about when to sneak: NOT ALWAYS. In lots of cases you will need to let your sister know that you are available to help -- either because you need her permission in order to help, or because she is worried about something and needs to know that it is being taken care of. But even in these cases, let your work be characterized by humility. Complete the task without drawing unnecessary attention to yourself, and report your success joyfully but not smugly. Remember that in all things, your aim is to meet your sister's practical needs in a way that helps her trust in and experience God's love for her. |